It was daring. I was bold. It didn’t hurt. I thought it would.
That was the story I had been telling myself for all of these years since the pain began. “I don’t do that to myself. I’m smart. I take care of my body,” I repeated, goodness knows how many umpteen times until it became my truth. In my morning yoga practice today, I busted my own myth.
For the very first time in about 10 years, I did a full Wheel Pose, Urdhva Dhanuarasana. I have had a blame/hate relationship with that upside down nonsense since my scoliosis kicked into chronic pain mode those years ago. I even had to look up the sanskrit name for it a moment ago because it’s just not a posture i give my attention to.
Wheel Pose wronged me, gave me back pain and it’s to blame!
Not this day.
On my mat this morning, I dared myself to do something courageous and bold today. A voice from deep within replied, “Why not now?”
I was flowing, my breath was deep, my mind was clear and my back felt easy and strong. I took the dare. Flowing gracefully down into supine prep, I did all the things my years and teachers have given me. I know the pose. I do guide it periodically. I’ve dissected it for students in Yoga Teacher Trainings. Although, never have I demonstrated it in class. The knowledge of the posture is in me, however, so I trusted myself.
Easy, it was. Placing my hands to either side of my face, feet “hip width distance and parallel” (how many times have I said that to my own students?). I took a brave breath in and exhaled my heart up toward the coming sun.
Voila….Urdhva Dhanuarasana without pain!
Now, many of you know that I’ve been working on this “back story” situation for a lot of years. Through countless twists and turns, healers and masters, I’ve delved deep into the chronic pain of scoliosis. Just last year, I got to the root.
My diligent self-guided therapy has brought me out of pain and into trust.
I trust my body because I trust myself as its caretaker, its healer, its guru.
This morning was a breakthrough. I was bold. I was daring. What else is possible?
What other stories have I been telling myself that I’ve come to believe as true? Where else in my life have I limited my dreams because I didn’t trust myself to follow through? Who else has suffered as a result of my fear?
I’m heading off to teach a yoga class now in my sweet Costa Rica community. I will boldly share this daring breakthrough. Not only will I teach full Wheel Pose, I will demonstrate.
What stories have you been repeating to yourself that are holding you back from your fullest expression? How else can you lift your own precious heart boldly up to the sun?
I dare you to find out.
One life, one planet, infinite boundless love, Heidi Michelle